August 31, 2004
Really Slick Screensavers
Really Slick Screensavers - pretty freeware win32 screensavers (linux version)
Remixes & Mix Tapes by Party Ben
Party Ben - Stuff that's neat to haveTHE SIXX MIXX
The Sixx Mixx is my half-hour mix show, featuring bootlegs by myself and others, remixes, new music, classic tunes, and wacky surprises. It's every Friday at 6pm on LIVE 105 in the San Francisco Bay Area.
August 30, 2004
Even Page 3 girls have brains (erm)
Page 3 - Model Propaganda: The Sun, The Girls, The TruthAugust 29, 2004
Bruiser Blair 'boots Berlusconi'
BBC NEWS | UK | Bruiser Blair 'boots Berlusconi'Tony Blair left his Italian counterpart Silvio Berlusconi hobbling after a "friendly" football game, it has been reported.
Nice one.
R. Kelly Sex Tape
Modern Humorist - R. Kelly Sex Tape - well, sort of.August 25, 2004
25 best things about being a man
1, OPENING JARS - nnng, she's struggling. You take it from her
hands, open it effortlessly and pretend she loosened it for you. She
didn't. Jars are men's work.
2, CALLING SOMEONE 'SON' - Especially policeman but even
saying it to kids makes you the man
3, DOING A PROPER SLIDE TACKLE - Beckham free kicks? Gay. A
Stuart Pearce tackle is the pinnacle of the game, simultaneously winning
the ball and crippling the man. Magic.
4, SHARPENING A PENCIL WITH A STANLEY KNIFE - Blunt, is it?
Hand it here love. No, I don't need a sharpener, you think I can't whittle.
5, GOING TO THE TIP - A manly act which combines driving,
lifting and - as you thrillingly drop your rubbish into another huge pile
of other rubbish -noisy destruction.
6, DRINKING UP - Specifically, rising from the table, slinging
your coat on and downing two thirds of a pint in one fluid movement. Then
nodding towards the door, saying, "Let's go" and striding out while
everyone else struggles to catch up with you. God, you're a legend .
7, HAVING A THIN BIT OF WOOD - in the shed, solely to stir
paint with.
8, HAVING A SCAR - Ideally it'll be a facial knife wound, but
even an iron burn on the wrist is good. "Ooh, did it hurt". "Nah".
9, HAVING A HANGOVER AND THICK STUBBLE - When birds have been
partying they just whinge. You, on the other hand have physical evidence of
your hardness, sprouting from your face. "Big night?" Grr, what does it look
like.
10, NODDING AT COPPERS - A moments eye contact is all it takes
for you to share the unspoken bond. "We've not seen eye to eye in the
past", it says, "but someone's got to keep the little scrotes in line".
11, USING POWER TOOLS - slightly more powerful than you need
or can safely handle. Pneumatic drilling while smoking a fag? Superb.
12, KICKING A FOOTY AGAINST A GARAGE DOOR - Clang-g-g-g-g-g-!
Stitch that becks, I kick so hard I set off car alarms.
13, ARRIVING IN A PUB LATE... and everyone cheers you. It
doesn't mean you're popular, it just means your mates are pissed. However,
the rest of the pub doesn't know that.
14, NOT WATCHING YOUR WEIGHT - fat is a feminist issue,
apparently. Brilliant. Pass the pork scratchings.
15, CARVING THE ROAST - and saying "are you a leg or breast
man" to the blokes and "do you want stuffing" to the women.
Congratulations, you are now your dad.
16, WINKING - turns women to putty. Doesn't it?
17, TEST SWINGING HAMMERS - ideally, B&Q would have little
changing rooms with mirrors so you could see how rugged you look with any
DIY item. Until then, we'll make do with the aisles.
18, TAKING OUT GBP200 FROM A CASHPOINT - okay, so its for paying
the plumber later but with that much cash you feel like a mafia don. The
only thing better is peeling notes off the roll later.
19, PHONE CALLS THAT LAST LESS THAN A MINUTE - unlike birds,
we get straight to the point. "alright? Yep. Drink? Red lion? George, it is
then.Seven. Seeya."
20, PARALLEL PARKING - bosh, straight in. first time. Can
Schumacher do that? No, because his cars got no reverse gear which,
technically, makes you the worlds best driver.
21, HAVING EARNED THAT PINT - Since the dawn of time, men have
toiled in the fields in blistering heat. Why? So, when it's over we can
stand there in silence, surveying our work with one hand resting on the beer
gut while the other nurses a foaming jug of ale. Aaaah.
22, HAVING SOMETHING PROPERLY WRONG WITH YOU - especially if
you didn't make a fuss. "Why was I off, nothing much, just a brain
haemorrhage".
23, KNOWING WHICH SCREWDRIVER IS WHICH - "a Phillips? For
that? Are you mad, bint?"
24, TAKING A NEWSPAPER INTO THE LOO - a visual code that says
that's right, i'm going in there for a huge, long man-sized shit.
25, CALLING YOUR MATE A C**T - and punching him on the
shoulder. Just a man's way of saying "you're a good mate; I missed you while
you were in hospital".
August 24, 2004
August 23, 2004
New t-shirt site launched
Well the old site will stay here but a new t-shirt blog has now launched
New osymyso mix
Osymyso has a new mix out 8-beat inspectionThe experiment was to find if it was possible to take 8 beats from 88 pop songs and make a mix that is 8 minutes and 8 seconds long from the loops and the result is a mix of 55 songs in almost 10 minutes, so it didn't prove to be posible in this instance. If you would like to make your own inpection of the results of this experiment then feel free to download it from the link below.
August 22, 2004
Bottled fart
Can't believe no-one has bid on this yet: eBay item 5915356617 (Ends 22-Aug-04 19:49:46 BST) - Bottled FartAugust 20, 2004
Official GMail notifier
Check your Gmail messages without opening your browser
Jail sentence for tutu prankster
Jail sentence for tutu prankster
A Canadian man who disrupted an Olympic diving final when he leapt into the pool in a tutu has been sentenced to five months in prison. What a shame.
August 19, 2004
7zip - very efficient compression for windows
7-Zip is a file archiver with highest compression ratio, better than RAR etc...August 17, 2004
more crap lookalikes
Celebrity more crap lookalikes - dr evil is particularly pony (needs popups allowed).August 16, 2004
ApacheTop
ApacheTop: a resource utilization display tool for ApacheApacheTop was written because there are no other realtime tools (that I could find) to display what your Apache server is doing in a concise helpful display.
August 15, 2004
goldie lookin' chain have a new website
..:: YOU KNOWS IT ::.. WARNINGS! WARNINGS! I AM A ROBOT!August 13, 2004
Big Glasses - VERY Big Glasses
Councillor Eileen Kinnear - I got these stylish glasses years ago, so long ago in fact that I'm buggered if I can remember where, what a bint eh!Coma boy told mum to f*** off
Coma boy told mum to f*** off
A MOTHER WAITED 41 days for her injured son to come out of a coma - only for him to tell her to 'f*** off'.
Joanne Hopkins leaned forward to hear son Joey whisper his first words since cheating death in a car smash.
But, instead of a touching exchange, the 22-year-old swore at her. Mrs Hopkins, 39, said she 'cried with relief'.
'He had been trying to speak but hadn't managed to get any words out,' she said.
'I said to the nurse, ¿I'll know when he's getting better because he'll swear at me¿ and at that moment he told me to ¿f*** off¿.'
She added: 'It was his way of telling me he was going to be OK.'
Builder Mr Hopkins suffered serious head injuries and a broken neck and back in the accident in Portsmouth in June.
He faces two years of rehabilitation but his mother is optimistic he will make a good recovery.
August 12, 2004
anti-Itunes site
iTunes iSbogus - "If you don't care about liner notes, you can burn the CD from a friend for 25 cents and send the musician a buck." - yes because lots of artists get sent money in the mail.wget and curl weblog
SuperDeluxo4.2 wgets and cURLs - Dedicated to the use of the command-line tools cURL and wget100 Songs That Are Total Cliches, But Still, Really *Do* Make Everything Better
100 Songs That Are Total Cliches, But Still, Really *Do* Make Everything Better from I Love MusicAugust 11, 2004
Interesting thread on ninjatune.net
who was the fittest girl/boy at your school?
neutered dog haikus
neutered dog haikusI used to lick them
Just because I could do it.
What will I lick now?
August 08, 2004
How to bathe a cat
1. Thoroughly clean toilet.
2. Lift both lids and add shampoo.
3. Find and soothe cat as you carry him to bathroom.
4. In one swift move, place cat in toilet, close both lids and stand on top, so cat cannot escape.
5. The cat will self agitate and produce ample suds. (Ignore ruckus from inside toilet, cat is enjoying this)
6. Flush toilet 3 or 4 times. This provides power rinse, which is quite effective.
7. Have someone open outside door, stand as far from toilet as possible and quickly lift both lids.
8. Clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and outdoors, where he will air dry.
Sincerely,
the dog
August 07, 2004
Half asleep / half awake
Guardian Unlimited | The Guardian | Book extract: How To Be Idle by Tom HodgkinsonI would argue not only that early rising is totally unnatural but also that lying in bed half awake - sleep researchers call this state "hypnagogic" - is positively beneficial to health and happiness. A good morning doze of half an hour or more can, for example, help you to prepare mentally for the problems and tasks ahead. - I'd agree with that.
August 06, 2004
Joey Deacon word game
BBC NEWS | World | Americas | TV Scrabble ruling lost for wordsNice reader's comment: In a homage to Blue Peter's most inspirational guest, I once managed to play JOEY (baby kangaroo) and DEACON (church official) within a couple of turns. Not a particularly high score, but a moral victory nevertheless.
August 04, 2004
qnext - multi-IM and much more
qnext another multi-protocol IM client that can do much more...
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August 03, 2004
Hours of amusement on the Daily Mail chat forums
Example post from the Mail online chat forum:
Re: Is Princess Michael racist?
Posted by: yorky1395 on 26/07/04 at 12:32 PM
why is being branded 'racist' such a terrible thing? racism is in the eye of the beholder. it would seem it is more socially acceptable to be branded a paedophile these days. i will still give my opinion, if asked, i do not intend to be deliberately offensive, but if any comment i make is construed as offensive by one person, and not another, is that not exercising one's right to express one's opinion? it's all getting out of hand, you can't say anything about a supposed minority without some pc fascist taking offence on their behalf. it won't wash anymore. i will speak my mind, always.
August 02, 2004
Cineplex Odious
Cineplex Odious - July 28, 2004 JULY 28--Meet Warronnica Harris and Terrell Tolson. The Florida couple got popped this week at a St. Petersburg theater after Harris, 23, allegedly refused to end a cell phone call as the opening credits for "Catwoman" rolled. When an off-duty police officer working at the theater tried to curtail her chat, Harris announced that "she could talk as much as she wanted on her phone," according to this police report. In short order, Tolson, 25, joined in, allegedly telling Officer John Douglas that he would kick the cop's ass. The report quotes Harris as saying she would "hit the cracker in his head."I wonder if they could do the same for people that eat a pizza at my local cinema.